To: support@vodafone.co.uk Object: Gigafast not working
Mrs. Vodafone said she would have fixed the broadband herself.
Such fools we are, I thought, running through the Frequently Asked Questions as if the soft water of a mountain river, wavy and fierce, forceful; my pace slowed at the vermillion space, fated to collect worldwide disappointments; my tidal creek had come. I typed the internet was not fast enough; not as Mindy’s, at least — 1080p movies on Prime and 5.1. Dolby Surround, she said (and did not I buy a 52" for that?). …
That’s one hell of a roller coaster ride.
I used to drive to places that do not exist. Twice a month.
I thought about it yesterday. I saw a bus, on the opposite side of the road, that was headed to one of those places. Its neon sign clearly stated it.
I have no clue of where you come from, fellow reader, but I can assure you that there are places that do not exist in your State too. They’re anywhere around the world. They’re the subjects to sentences like: “XYZ isn’t real” and “Nobody has really been in XYZ”.
XYZ clearly stays for “somewhere in the middle of nowhere”. A small village in the countryside of Kentucky. The 400 houses on the border between Latvia and Belarus. The first conglomerate of dwellings where the Mekong enters Cambodia. All those places where people actually live, but of which we never end up acknowledging the existence. …
You better check your stickers
A couple of weeks ago I was sharing Christmas wishes on Whatsapp with my high school mates. One of them sent a “Memoji” of her giving a kiss. Once she did it, I realized that we chose the same hair and I pointed it out.
I actually have two Memojis. One is the “party” look, with a bun, red lipstick, and big earrings, which is my usual summer night-out look. The other one is a “plain me” version with long curly hair in a ponytail and no make-up. We made fun of the coincidence and she asked me to share my Memojis. As soon as I did it, she replied: “You do realize that’s a Latin-American, right?”. …
It’s easier done than said
- Waking up at 10:43 am.
- Missing my yoga class by 13 mins. Zoom link expired.
- Starting my early day with a 13-flavoured gluten-free infusion. It promises to strengthen both memory and imagination. Isn’t it marvellous what you can get out of lemongrass, hibiscus and other unutterable herbs?
- Spending 3 hours choosing a whiteboard online. One you can write in with chalk. But also put stickers on. With a session for pinpoints. The red thread should be included in the pack so that it looks like I’m solving a murder. I should check if they sell fake obituary pictures. Screenshots from CSI Miami seems like a legit alternative. What about fake sepia pics from the 30s? …
We’re losing touch.
I’m in my car, driving to my parents. Getting through a one-way fast-road, a two-way street is visible.
I find myself screaming at the rearview mirror:
“Is anybody going to help him?”
A man is falling at the beginning of a zebra crossing. As my view of him vanishes, cars, bicycles, and people, they all keep on their way.
What is this pandemic doing to us? Are we so afraid of anything that could happen with a touch? How many helping hands will get lost in the process?
It’s like we’re in Saramago’s Blindness. We lost our senses.
For people who are ill, it’s the smell. …
Anybody can be an oppressor and no one is most likely to be
In the past days, I’ve read a lot of stories about Netflix's Bridgerton, the historical drama produced by Shonda Rhimes. Most articles talked about a specific sex-scene, which glossed-over a rape.
I advise you to read Tara Blair Ball’s thoughts. To me, it is a clear and concise piece on the topic. Three stories on the topic appeared in my home today, including the analysis by Yia Vue on An Injustice. Then came North Black’s “unpopular opinion” on how Women Can’t Rape Men on Illumination. Admitting to have not seen the series, the author explains under a click-bait title two of her beliefs:
1. rape is always about some form of power;
2. as a woman the situation of outpowering a man is less often met. …
Why do we act like writing is dating?
“It’s not you, it’s me”
(Any rom-com feat. a publication that rejected your story)
I sometimes think we’re treating publications as a crush. And we’re really millennial about it, you know? There’s a ton of social stalking. You read what they like, search for who they dated before. Then drown in vanilla ice-cream, in the belief you will never be enough.
As in life, most relationships are the result of the movement of one party towards the other. While the opposite still may happen, when it comes to publications the first step is usually on you.
In other words, you may need to get good at flirting. …
Stop reading life-changing advice and start writing about real life
It’s beginning to look a lot like Venice.
Fascinating treasures are hiding underneath the crowds that move from San Marco to Rialto.
Tourists are everywhere.
Right now, whenever I open Medium, I’m doing my best to search for valuable contents. As a newbie, I’m looking for stories that either widen my knowledge or my writing skills. But I keep stumbling against the tourists, who are following the signs that somebody else put in there.
Guys, how many of you are actually reading life-changing tips? How many do not know that you can take a boat to the Giudecca and find wildness in the heart of Venice, while still admiring its most famous monuments? …
We cannot advertise inclusivity, can we?
2001.
No Space Odyssey.
The original Odyssey — Homer’s poem — is being recited in a schoolroom. I’m twelve years old. My class has been moved to the hall of a high school building, due to renovation. At the break, everybody is talking about a guy who just came out as gay. He’s barely sixteen and he did it on national television. He got there as a fervent catholic. A gay fervent catholic; something primetime TV wouldn’t miss for the world in the early 2000s.
2020. Friday, December 4th. I’m on Instagram and I get a sponsored ad by Yoox. Yoox, as you may know, is an e-commerce platform based in Italy which is part of the luxury reseller Net-A-Porter. They’re advertising a capsule collection of genderless clothes they made in collaboration with an Italian singer named Mahmood. …
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